Izzy

The day after Hudson's third chemo treatment, I logged into Facebook and found this post on Marie's Facebook.

I was sitting at my desk at work when I read it.  It was as if the world had stopped and everything went silent. 

Izzy doesn't deserve this.  She had an extremely tough life and she's fought through every obstacle that has arisen with grace and strength.  The last thing that should have taken her down was cancer.

She's been three weeks ahead of Hudson through his entire cancer fight.  She was my inspiration during Hell Week.  Her diagnosis has hit me especially hard.  I don't think I ever allowed myself to think that tumors could form in Hudson's lungs while he is on chemo. 

Logically, my brain recognizes that Izzy's case has absolutely nothing to do with Hudson's.  My heart doesn't.  I'm so afraid that Hudson's next appointment will mirror Izzy's.  I'm trying very hard not to think about it.  I've tried multiple times to write this post since August 19, but haven't been able to marshal my emotions until now.  Just thinking about Izzy and what is happening to her, and could happen to Hudson, makes me sick.  My stomach churns and my eyes fill with tears.

D Day is still two weeks away, September 15th.  That will be Hudson's fourth chemo treatment, and they will do chest films to determine if tumors have formed in his lungs.  In the meantime, Hudson gets to lay on the bed with me every night until Tony comes to bed and he's getting a lot more cuddles.